Q: What influenced you to even consider staying sexually pure until you were married?
A: God used many authors to encourage me in my pursuit of sexual purity. The Christy Miller Series 1-3
by Robin Jones Gunn was great in my middle school years. As I transitioned into high school Authentic Beauty: The Shaping of a Set-Apart Young Woman
by Leslie Ludy, When God Writes Your Love Story
, When Dreams Come True: A Love Story Only God Could Write
by Eric and Leslie Ludy, and Passion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life Under Christ's Control
by Elizabeth Elliot were wonderful influences.Q: How much influence did your parents have on your pledge to stay pure?
A: My mom gave me the best gift of all time by introducing me to Jesus. Her faithful prayers and constant support pushed me to follow Christ in purity. She had shared stories of how my dad and her did not follow Christ in that way. I have seen the consequences they faced because of this. Her encouragement in my pursuit of purity greatly influenced my pledge to stay pure.
Q: What did your friends say about your commitment?
A: Most of my friends could not understand why I didn't want to kiss before I was married. I will never forget one spring afternoon when I was in college. I was sitting in my car talking/crying to my mom on the phone. I had many guys date me just to see if they could break my commitment. After a very short period of time when they figured out I was not backing down on my commitment, they would break up with me. Although I knew they were not someone I wanted to continue in a relationship with because they did not feel they same way about purity, it still hurt. I remember telling my mom that I felt like the entire college thought I was weird and crazy. I told her that no gorgeous man would ever want to date me because all the good looking men only wanted what I would never give them. She said, "Jessica, I am very certain that Mary felt the same way. She felt alone, weird, and crazy, but God did not see her that way. He thought she was the perfect girl to carry His sweet Son. Remember that your promise is not to anyone but Christ. He is the One who is pleased and calls you Beloved. That's your identity. And one day, when His time is right, there will be a very handsome man who will cherish your love for Christ and your decision to remain pure." After this conversation, I met Brandon (who is extremely good looking by the way) :) two months later.
Q: What were some practical steps you took to resist any temptation to "give in" before you were married?
A: We prayed A LOT. We also put ourselves around people who would ask us if we were following Christ in that area of our relationship. We never talked about sex in marriage unless we were in a public place (like a restaurant or Starbucks). It was better for us not to lay down with one another. We kept busy going places and doing things. We did choose to not kiss. We didn't want to open the door to what that might have lead to. These steps are not in anyway for all couples. We prayed about practical steps in staying pure and for us, these helped.
Q: How much attention did you give to how you dressed around Brandon?
A: I really did take that into consideration. My mom helped so much in this. I didn't want to dress like a nun. I found cute, in style clothes that were still modest. Honestly, I didn't know how visual men were until I married Brandon. It is so important that Christ be honored in how we dress, after all, we are His dwelling place.
Q: What did it mean to you that your spouse had preserved their sexual purity just for you and that no other person had shared that experience with them?
A: Jessica- It meant so much to me that Brandon thought I was worth his waiting. He had so many chances to give himself away, yet chose to wait for me who he didn't even know at the time. I feel so cherished in knowing that I am the only woman who knows him in that way. There is no one else in the world besides Jesus who knows him more intimately. As a woman, there is no greater romance. Brandon- The easiest analogy to understand is opening a gift that has been prepared just for you. A gift that was costly and sacrificial to the person giving it to you. Knowing that it was authentic. It wasn't a knock off or a copy. When I finally opened this gift, the humility, joy, and excitement was so great in knowing it was only mine. Even this, doesn't do it justice. It is humbling to think that Jessica loved me so much that she chose to save all she had just for me.
Q: What would you say to someone considering remaining sexually pure until marriage?
A: Please trust that no one can possibly write a more beautiful love story except for Christ. Trust Him, lean into Him, and know Him as the Lover of your soul. Honoring God by remaining sexually pure far outweighs the consequences of choosing selfish desires. In the same way God calls us to offer our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to Him, we are able to honor our spouse by remaining sexually pure.
Q: How would you describe the emotional aspect of your honeymoon night?
A: Precious. Absolutely precious. There is no greater act of praise. We felt intimacy, humility, and power in knowing that we had just experienced one of God's greatest gifts to us.